Letter Lesson 9

Letter/Lesson #9

Dear Member,

“A Remarkable Adventure”

by Jack Prelutsky

I was at my bedroom table

with a notebook open wide,

when a giant anaconda

started winding up my side;

I was filled with apprehension

and retreated down the stairs,

to be greeted at the bottom

by a dozen grizzly bears.

We tumultuously tussled

till I managed to get free,

then I saw, with trepidation,

there were tigers after me;

I could feel them growing closer,

I was quivering with fear,

then I blundered into quicksand

and began to disappear.

I was rescued by an eagle

that descended from the skies

to embrace me with its talons,

to my terror and surprise;

but that raptor lost its purchase

when a blizzard made me sneeze,

and it dropped me in a thicket

where I battered both my knees.

I was suddenly surrounded

by a troop of savage trolls,

who maliciously informed me

they’d toast me over coals;

I was lucky to elude them

when they briefly looked away—

that’s the reason why my homework

isn’t here with me today.

The student in this poem had some extremely remarkable reasons why his or her homework wasn’t “here with me today.” The serious fact is there’s a very real battle over homework and studying, and it presents almost insurmountable problems for many kids and their parents.

80% of Family Conflicts about Homework

The statement above was made by Fredric M. Levine, associate professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stoney Brook, and co-author of Winning the Homework War. He claimed that in his private practice 80% of the family conflicts he dealt with centered on the battle over homework.

Here are some newspaper excerpts I’ve noticed over the last several years that bear witness to Dr. Levine’s statement:

“Why do most kids hate homework?”

“Homework has long been hated by most students, but is required by most schools.”

“He’d rather play than do homework.”

“The greatest power struggle in our home is over school assignments. Our fourth-grader simply will not do them! When we try to force him to study, he sits and stares, doodles, gets up for water and just kills time.”

“A bright kid fails in school because classwork and homework don’t get done.”

“Football, Jobs, Playtime— No Time for Homework!”

The fight over homework has become so severe that in some cases it’s caused parents to divorce. Many families are wondering if homework is worth all the battles.

Why Is Homework So Important?

Dr. Fredric M. Levine and Dr. Kathleen M. Anesko gave solid, significant answers to this question in their book, Winning the Homework War.

They wrote, “Having poor homework habits can also affect the child socially. We have seen many children who have been on the ‘bad side’ of teachers because they do not complete homework. Teachers sometimes label these children ‘lazy’ or ‘defiant,’ and these labels influence how the teachers relate to the youngsters. Having a teacher angry at a child often leads the child to become less motivated in school or simply more negative.”

They continued, “As we have seen, homework is important! Besides the obvious desired effect of better marks in school, good homework habits bring about later achievements in other areas of your child’s life. They also bring about a much more cooperative attitude at home with you.”

The Student in the Poem

I could’ve been the student in the poem because I, too, hated homework and studying. I would’ve said or done almost anything to get out of going through such dreaded torture. I believe this extreme aversion to studying was one of the reasons I hated school in general. To this day I think the teachers passed me so they could get rid of me. And what’s more, I didn’t care. All I knew was that high school was over, and I was relieved beyond belief. I was out of jail!

Unreasonable, Cruel, and Impossible!

After high school I worked in the oilfields of West Texas for a summer and did a whole lot of partying. Life was fun. I was free. Then one day a worker was killed on the job. Suddenly everything was not so much fun, and into my life rushed reality!

After that awakening and driven by the fear of going back to the oilfields, I enrolled in a junior college. I flunked out the first semester. Boldly, I asked one of my professors why he’d failed me. He asked me how much time I spent studying and doing homework. I told him “not much,” which accurately translated meant “none.” He asked me why, and I told him I hated to study and do assignments. He told me I’d better change or go back to the oilfields. I assured him that was not something I wanted to do.

He then shared with me that the rule of thumb was three hours of study for every hour of his classroom lectures; that ratio would probably get me a “C” in his class. His class was one hour, three days a week. So that meant in order to have a chance of receiving a “C,” I’d have to spend nine hours a week studying just for his class. I was taking 15 hours of classes a week. That meant I needed to study 45 hours a week outside the class lectures just for a “C.” How could anybody do this? It seemed unreasonable, cruel, and utterly impossible!

Studying Worked—and Then Some

Well, I was so afraid of the thought of going back to work in the oilfields, I forced myself to follow my professor’s advice, and, lo and behold, it worked—and then some. The very next semester I made the Dean’s List. I now knew the secret to making good grades in college, but I still hated studying and homework. I just forced myself, and I was miserable.

Back to My “Waiting Room Prayer”

Now you can understand why part of my “waiting room prayer” was for our son, Jon, to be really, very, very smart concerning school and education. Remember, I prayed for him…

To love school and love to learn- I didn’t
To love to study— I didn’t
To make good grades in school, but also have fun— I didn’t
To get along well with his teachers and for them to enjoy him, too— I didn’t get along well, and the teachers didn’t enjoy me either
To be well liked by other students and to be a positive leader— I wasn’t
To have a great personality- I didn’t
To have a burning desire to go beyond high school and choose a college that would lead him to his life’s work— I didn’t

From Letter/Lesson #1

Under the title God’s Focus Paid Off, I shared with you how God had given Linda and me the focus to pay attention to everything that would help us apply Proverbs 22:6 to Jon’s life. (“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”)

Based on what I’d learned from my college professor about how important studying and homework were, I developed an idea to use with Jon when he was very young. I knew if we made the words “study and homework” pleasant, fun, and exciting for him, along with the functions that accompanied those words, that by the time he started to school he would be set. So that’s what we did!

I Wanted To Go Fishing!

Jon was a graduating senior in high school. It was a Friday. Not just any typical Friday, because on this Friday the fish were calling me. The birds were singing, and so was I. It was such a beautiful spring day, and I wanted to go fishing! So I hooked up the boat, rounded up all the fishing gear, and waited for Jon to get home from school.

What Do You Mean You Have Homework?

When Jon got home, I was leaning on the boat, and I asked him how he was going to handle me catching the biggest fish? He said, “I don’t think that’s going to happen, but could you give me about 50 minutes? I need to study and finish some homework.” My first thought was, “Has this kid lost his mind?” He already knew his final grade average.

Why the Need to Study?

The words “study and homework” had been pleasant words to Jon since before he could remember. His feeling the need to study and do some homework before we went fishing was proof of how powerful Proverbs 22:6 had become for him and can become in any person’s life. As a matter of fact, while Jon studied on that Friday afternoon, I went inside our home, got down on my knees, and thanked God for such a blessing. And I cried. Some people think men aren’t supposed to cry, but I cried. I was so thankful to God for blessing our family like He had.

The Oh, So Simple Strategy

Part of God’s answer to my “waiting room prayer” was for us to train Jon at an early age to “go the way” of loving to learn and loving to study according to the principles of Proverbs 22:6. We knew and believed that this early training in Jon’s life would have a dynamic, positive impact on his future academic success. As a result, we raised a really, very, very smart kid who used this blessing to secure an excellent education and to choose a rewarding career. And unlike me, Jon was not miserable or forcing himself to study and do homework.

Here’s the simple strategy you can use with your child:

Pay Attention

As your child starts to play or gets interested in things, pay attention. Develop the focus to pay attention to anything and everything your child is interested in, especially things or activities he or she really loves to do. It could be reading or coloring, like it was for Jon.

Use the Words

Then use the words “study and homework” when referring to those pleasant and fun activities that your child loves to do.

Example:

Jon loved to color. He especially loved the coloring books that were “activity” coloring books—the kind that contained mazes and puzzles. So anytime we saw he was coloring and having fun with his activity, coloring books, we would say to him, “Jon, I see you’re studying and doing your homework.” At the times he wasn’t playing with his coloring books, but we knew it was about time that he would, we’d ask him the question, “Do you want to study and do your homework?” By then he knew we were asking him if he wanted to have fun with his books. We just used the words “study and homework” instead of the words “color in your coloring books.”

When there are older siblings in the family, your child is usually eager to imitate them and try to do the grown-up things they do. You can ask if he or she wants to “study and do homework like sister or brother.”

Set the Environment

From the time your child starts to enjoy his or her pleasant, fun activities such as coloring or solving puzzles, start the process off right. Buy a study desk, study lamp, and straight back chair and make a special place for studying. And don’t allow any radio, television, stereo, or other types of distractions while your child is having fun with those activities that you help him/her identify as “studying and doing homework.”

Example:

Jon loved coloring so much that he really didn’t care where he did it. That being the case, we knew that if he studied and did his homework (coloring) on a study desk, with a lamp, in a straight back chair, in a quiet atmosphere without noise and distractions, it would prepare him for the future when studying and homework were no longer just coloring book activities. By training him in this way at an early age, later when he was actually in school he’d be able to focus on real homework and studying. Also, he’d be able to complete his homework/studying in less time because he wouldn’t have to contend with all the things that distract and “un-track” most students.

By Example:

Here’s another thing we did—(and this is up to you). While Jon was studying and doing his homework, we studied, too. Sometimes this meant that Linda and I would simply read a book or the paper, but we would have quiet in the house during study/homework time. Our thinking was that it’s hard for children to study and concentrate while the rest of the family is making noise and doing other fun things. At some point in Jon’s life he would have to discipline himself to study and get his homework done while others were having other kinds of fun, but by that time it probably wouldn’t matter what others were doing.

Talk About It

We would make it a point to talk to and work with Jon at times when he was studying and doing his homework (coloring).

Example:

We would encourage Jon to talk to us about what he was coloring or doing. He’d tell us (sometimes very imaginatively!) all kinds of things he was doing with his studying and homework. I remember one time he tried to apologize to Linda because he colored out of the space he was supposed to color. Linda told him that at times it was okay to color outside the lines. It not only made him very happy that his mother wasn’t upset with him, but creativity exploded that we hadn’t seen before.

Since we trained Jon early to talk to us about his homework and study subjects, this sharing and discussing carried over when he started school. At least it did up until the time he started to tell us about some of his physics projects. Then we just listened and smiled.

Stuck Like Glue

By the time Jon started regular school, the words “study and homework” were a permanent part of his spirit, and this training stuck like glue according to the promise of Proverbs 22:6. Aren’t God’s promises wonderful?

And this strategy, when carried out early and properly, will guarantee that by the time your child starts to school he/she will love to learn and be eager to study and do homework. Your child won’t be a total bookworm either, because studying and completing assignments won’t take as long, leaving time for other interests and activities.

Answered Prayer

Yes, God did answer the part of my “waiting room prayer” for Jon to be really, very, very smart in the area of school/education by showing us how to train Jon to love learning and studying according to the principles of Proverbs 22:6 and by guiding us faithfully in that training process. We thankfully give all the praise and glory to God for the results.

Jon…

Loved school and loved to learn—and still does
Loved to study and do homework—and still does (now called business work)
Developed good time management skills
Made outstanding grades in school and wasn’t stressed out in the process

In plane geometry class in high school, his homework grade accounted for half of the final grade. (In many classes homework grades are a major part of the final grade.) He had fun, and he considered school an adventure rather than as something disagreeable that he was forced to do.

Got along great with his teachers

He was always on time with assignments, stayed up with the desired learning, and worked at the appropriate grade level or above. As a result, his teachers enjoyed him, and he enjoyed them.

Discovered how to prepare for and take tests

Test taking was a breeze for Jon. He never had to spend countless hours cramming for tests. He didn’t stay up several nights in a row studying for tests or finals because he was current in his subject matter and didn’t have to try to learn everything right before a test.

Was very well liked by other students and was looked upon as a leader
Developed a great personality
Developed a burning desire to go beyond high school, to choose a great college and law school that led him to his life’s work

You can and should expect, through faith, results like these for your child.

Homework Is Important

Please recall the quote from the book, Winning the Homework War, by Dr. Fredric M. Levine and Dr. Kathleen M. Anesko: “As we have seen, homework is important. Besides the obvious desired effect of better marks in school, good homework habits bring about later achievements in other areas of your child’s life. They also bring about a much more cooperative attitude at home with you.”

Preparation

What professional person doesn’t have work to do at home or away from the office? That’s the real world.

In that real, working world people who do their homework are prepared, and they reap the rewards of a job well done, which often means better salaries and higher positions, as well as personal satisfaction.

“One of life’s most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn’t do our homework, that we are not prepared.”—Merlin Olsen

Suggestions from Other Families

One mom told me about something she did when her children were in elementary school and bringing home real homework. The first thirty minutes after school was scheduled as “free time” or “wind down time,” and the children could snack, play outside, watch TV (if there was an appropriate program), just do something totally different from the school scene to rest and relax both mind and body. Then homework was to be completed before other activities were begun.

Another family expressed a warning about letting school and school activities totally dictate the family schedule. Especially when students are in high school and there are numerous athletic, scholastic, and social events, family life can get caught up in the whirlwind and revolve totally around school-related activities. Families must carefully set and guard their priorities regarding spiritual and family life.

Both of these suggestions reflect Godly wisdom from Godly parents who have successfully raised really, very, very smart kids. Regarding school activities overruling the family schedule thereby causing neglect of spiritual study and homework, please go back to Letter/Lesson #2 and Letter/Lesson #4. The applied strategies in both of those letter/lessons combined with strategies in this Letter/Lesson #9 will help you “train up” your child to “go the way” that leads to living a balanced, joyful spiritual and family life.

“You’re Just Lucky You Have a Smart Kid!”

That was a comment our friend made to us because she was frustrated about one of her children who was struggling to make good grades. The truth is, it wasn’t that Jon was so smart. The key to the whole situation was in the way he’d been trained.

“I’m Not Doing It, and Nobody’s Going to Make Me!”

The son of our friend who had said we were lucky to have a smart kid was one of Jon’s childhood friends. One day I was changing the oil in my car, and this friend of Jon’s came over and started talking to me. During our conversation he shared with me that he was struggling in school and was making failing grades. I asked him what he thought the problem was. He told me he hated to study and do homework. It was that simple. And he knew if he would study and complete his assignments that he could greatly improve his grades. Nevertheless, he told me he would not study or do his homework, and nobody could make him!

Christians Aren’t Lucky; WE ARE BLESSED!

I had really wanted to tell the mother of Jon’s friend that I didn’t believe in luck at all. Nothing in this world happens by chance or luck. God is in control of everything—every circumstance, every situation that comes into our lives, no matter how big or small. We aren’t lucky when something good happens or something turns out right. If we’re true believers and followers of Jesus, we’re taken care of and looked after by a loving, caring Lord. We’re blessed, not lucky.

Jon was blessed with a fine education that was enjoyable and exciting for him. That came to pass because of the answered prayer that led Jon to be trained at an early age to “go the way” of making words and activities associated with study and homework pleasant, fun, and exciting.

Then the blessing of a successful and rewarding education paved the way for Jon to discover his life’s work. Blessing upon blessing. Grace upon grace. Praise God and give Him glory!

Head Knowledge Versus Spirit Knowledge

Jon’s friend knew that if he studied, he’d make better grades. That was head knowledge. But he didn’t have the spirit knowledge that Jon had. Later I found out that Jon’s friend and his parents had literally gone to war over homework and studying. Spirit knowledge is liberating. Jon told me one time he loved to study and do homework, but he didn’t know why. I’m certain he knows now.

Give your child the spirit knowledge of the enjoyment, fulfillment, and satisfaction that comes with productive studying and completing homework successfully. Then your child, you, and your entire family will be blessed beyond measure. Praise God some more!

Remember and know the following truths in your spirit:

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10)

“Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.” (Proverbs 3:13-15)

Moving On to the Next Letter/Lesson

The next letter/lesson offers a very specific strategy you can use to train your child to be really, very, very smart concerning the choice of his or her life’s work.

Until then please email me at [email protected] with any questions, comments, thoughts, or suggestions you may have.

God bless,

Paw Paw

P.S. You may want to print this and future letter/lessons to form your own “Tomorrow’s Heroes Library” for you and your family. Beyond this, you may want to consider adding your personal notes, thoughts, and insights to customize this program to fit your family.

Edited by DC

Unless otherwise indicated, Scriptures quotations are from

the New King James Version.